(＠＾◡＾) happy birthday (9.20)
9.20.24
11:09PM MOOD: happy, grieving, peacefulness
listening to: Litre O' Cola - Jogger
my sweet Grams had her birthday today! so we went to go celebrate.
sorry for missing the post yesterday, i was hanging out with my boyfriend on dead by daylight. yesterday wasn't too eventful other than me flunking my test.
I FLUNKED MY BIO TESTTTT and i cried so hard over it. that's probably why i didn't write yesterday.
today i cleaned the entire house, and i got ready for dinner to celebrate my great grandmother's birthday! i miss her so much, it's almost been a year since she's passed. i love her so much, i miss her a lot
grief is such an odd process and at first i was heartbroken over her passing, back in october of last year. im usually a lot more emotional when things like bdays pass for people i know (who were close) who have passed, but honestly i've been pretty happy today.
im glad it's like that, more than me crying over it. she really wanted us to remember her in a happy way, not in a sad way, so i think me not crying or grieving hard over her is a lot better than being stuck in a depression. she also told me that even when she died, she would always be with me.
i think because i got that closure before she passed, and was in constant communication and reassurance with her (plus she passed surrounded by family, having done everything she loved the day before) i feel a lot better about it compared to my grandfather, who passed in different circumstances.
my grams loved flashy things. grand places, being a star. she loved to gamble and have fun and tell funny stories, being with family, getting hugs and being told she was love. she also loved my boyfriend, and was so accepting of everything that i've come to her with. we took good care of each other. i grew up with my grams, she used to take me to cheer practice and school when i was little. then as i got older, around 16 up until she passed, i took care of her. it was her turn to receive what she had done for everyone else and she deserved it!
anyways, im glad i can live life but also live it in ways with remembering the people ive mourned. im really proud of my grandmother too, i feel so bad for her because her and her mom, my grams, were so close.
overall, today was good and now im relaxing. i feel content and happy, and that's a good thing.
listening to: Litre O' Cola - Jogger
my sweet Grams had her birthday today! so we went to go celebrate.
sorry for missing the post yesterday, i was hanging out with my boyfriend on dead by daylight. yesterday wasn't too eventful other than me flunking my test.
I FLUNKED MY BIO TESTTTT and i cried so hard over it. that's probably why i didn't write yesterday.
today i cleaned the entire house, and i got ready for dinner to celebrate my great grandmother's birthday! i miss her so much, it's almost been a year since she's passed. i love her so much, i miss her a lot
grief is such an odd process and at first i was heartbroken over her passing, back in october of last year. im usually a lot more emotional when things like bdays pass for people i know (who were close) who have passed, but honestly i've been pretty happy today.
im glad it's like that, more than me crying over it. she really wanted us to remember her in a happy way, not in a sad way, so i think me not crying or grieving hard over her is a lot better than being stuck in a depression. she also told me that even when she died, she would always be with me.
i think because i got that closure before she passed, and was in constant communication and reassurance with her (plus she passed surrounded by family, having done everything she loved the day before) i feel a lot better about it compared to my grandfather, who passed in different circumstances.
my grams loved flashy things. grand places, being a star. she loved to gamble and have fun and tell funny stories, being with family, getting hugs and being told she was love. she also loved my boyfriend, and was so accepting of everything that i've come to her with. we took good care of each other. i grew up with my grams, she used to take me to cheer practice and school when i was little. then as i got older, around 16 up until she passed, i took care of her. it was her turn to receive what she had done for everyone else and she deserved it!
anyways, im glad i can live life but also live it in ways with remembering the people ive mourned. im really proud of my grandmother too, i feel so bad for her because her and her mom, my grams, were so close.
overall, today was good and now im relaxing. i feel content and happy, and that's a good thing.
picture for today!
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